Doubt. Anger. Questions.
We’ve all been there. Hell, I struggle with the whole ‘What’s happening here, God? What’s the point?’
Dreams that seemed like they were his. Decisions made that seemed like he was backing it all up and opening every door have not been what you thought it would be.
But every time. Every damn time…its not him. Its me. Sounds like a bad break up? Well, it really is a bad break up where we put our hands up and say, ‘Done.’
But he’s a stubborn God and he refuses to break up with us.
He doesn’t go anywhere. I do. I venture off the path, true to my distractive nature…then eventually remember we were going somewhere and jump back on course.
What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness? Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar. [Romans 3:3-4]
For me it’s not so much a lack of faith, but a lack of patience with the timing of his faithfulness.
It is also a matter of hearing his voice, and then when enough time passes that I don’t hear anything else on the topic…I doubt what I heard. I doubt me. I doubt my ears. I doubt my capabilities. I doubt my experience. Albeit experience he has given me for a reason.
All because my human ears get full of the opinions of others about me. Even the most optimistic can ignore it for only so long until their ears are dripping with negativity.
So I doubt my call. I doubt what I am good at, and I doubt what I heard from him for what seems like decades ago.
Let God be true.
God is faithful.
In the deepest part of your soul, you’ve felt it, too. He is faithful to you, his child, and he loves your dreams. He gave you the vision for those dreams.
I say this to not only myself, but shout it to both of us…suck it up, be who he has created you to be, rest in his faithfulness and go fight for something that counts.
And for the love of all things holy, stop trying to break up with God! ‘Cause he’s not going anywhere…