I can’t help it. It has been rattling around my brain all day. I wish I could shut it off, because it would be easier. But no…
I am addicted to Lent.
There I said it. Now what?
This Lent season I committed to writing a blog every day and today all I can think about is…I don’t HAVE to write anything. I can let it go.
Maybe I just found a good outlet for my thoughts here and I don’t want to lose that freedom. But I sense there is more going on…
I can’t let the practices I picked up during Lent go. I loved meditating on scripture, or the word of the day or mulling over what angle I would take on something. Or what everyone else would write. I’ve never had this problem before, and am at a loss to explain it. Maybe there is something God wanted me to learn from this Lenten season I haven’t learned yet. Maybe he was just trying to change me…mold me.
However, I also can’t bring myself to hit up Mumford & Sons, Lumineers or Imagine Dragons. I really want to…really want to…but even as I type, I’m still worshipping.
I’m going to waste it all on you, I’m going to pour my hearts’ perfume, I don’t care if I’m called a fool, I’m wasting it all on you… [Kim Walker, ‘Waste It All’]
As I reflect on the Bible story after Jesus was risen…I have always been intoxicated by the disciples and how they spread the Gospel.
After I became a Christian in college God ignited a thirst for scripture in me, but I’d never hit Acts. I’ll never forget the first time I read it. I started it about a week after I got back from spending a summer doing mission work in China, and it just felt like the right time. Once I got to the end, my friends and I were at a fall conference with Intervarsity so I asked one of the staff there why Acts just stopped so suddenly.
I’d written this in my Bible: ’10-21-01, I finished this book today and it is the first book I’ve read that I turned the page and was HUGELY disappointed that there was no more. I do not want to move on to another book – I want this one…I love Paul!’ Needless to say, Acts is my favorite book of the Bible…but that’s about 5 different blog posts.
Next to my notes I’d also written the IV staffer’s response: ‘Steve Lind says this book is still being written.’
Mind blown. Fireworks exploding in the sky. Mouth dropped open.
And I’ve held onto that thought ever since.
Last night as I was watching The Bible series, I was remembering this coupled with a new thought. What if Paul, or any of the other disciples, hadn’t written it all down? What if I’d never had a book of Acts to read?
God would have figured it out, but in the moment my brain was digesting that thought, I was incredibly grateful for their courage to write things down in times of severe persecution. I’m sure I wouldn’t have made writing it down a priority while my brothers and sisters were getting beheaded, crucified and exiled. But they knew what was at stake. They knew they had to tell the story of the death, the resurrection and the large fact that Jesus would never die again to everyone.
As we sink into the week after Easter, and as I fumble with how to merge my Lent experience with the rest of the year, my sincere prayer is that people will ask themselves how they are living out Acts. What are they doing to proclaim that Jesus reigns? How are they spreading the Gospel message of love, hope, grace and compassion? Because the book is still being written…but will we participate in the rest of the story?