never have i found

I was a freshman in college when I had a significant identity crisis. A friend died. I had some issues with depression. I fought with my parents constantly…from 3 hours away. And I realized I’d been hiding behind, and projecting that image, of who other people wanted me to be. My most common phrase was ‘I just need to find myself.’ Cheesy, right? Yeah…well that was also what I like to call…my B.C.

Before Christ.

Here’s the thing, though, I knew without a doubt that I was missing something. Literally. Missing. Something.

By the grace of God I found it, and that part of the story isn’t pertinent here…and actually is in a former post, I think. What is on my brain at the moment is once I found what I was looking for in Christ…no one could ever convince me there was a better faith, object, path…or mission to devote your life to in our world.

All of the things I hated, absolutely hated, about myself all of a sudden became beautiful. The things I wrongly loved about myself…manipulation, lying, selfishness…the focus shifted, and I changed, because I found what made me complete.

Josh Garrels has a phenomenal song that makes me think of this every time I hear it.

‘But never have I found, another one like Jesus.’ [Josh Garrels, “Never Have I Found”]

I looked…at a lot of other things to fill the complete lack of identity that I had, but there was a reason none of those things filled that massive hole I felt inside me. We were created by God to be in relationship with him, and when we are not…everything is out of whack.

When you read the Bible, look at the character of Christ. He is kind. He talks to people ‘society’ didn’t want him to engage. He gets angry when people disrespect his Father. And when he talked to people…he wasn’t screaming at people to believe, he gave them honest words and let them choose. He took an interest…people followed him because he listened, and answered questions. Though, generally it was a weird parable…but where in God’s word do you see it say Jesus wasn’t compassionate.

And the stories could just be stories…until you look at Old Testament then every single piece of Christ’s life was predicted. He fulfilled every single prophecy that had been written. Including…wait for it…dying on a cross for OUR sin, and then…rising again three days later. RISING AGAIN…no other ‘God’ even attempted to claim that feat.

This year for lent, I decided I was going to strip down my mission verbiage and relearn. I felt I needed to better articulate the ‘why’ of mission…God’s mission. Among the various things I have clung to…the ‘why’ of God’s mission is to work toward His Kingdom being renewed, reclaimed, perfected once again…but the ‘how’ is in the character of Jesus.

And, friends, never have I found another one like Jesus.

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